I just bought a dictionary which gives more than the definition.  It sets the facts straight as well.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Etc: A word to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

Marriage: An agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

School: A place where papa pays and son plays.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Let me end with this …

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Alright, get back to work … why are you reading the blog???